Tag: anxiety

The Light & Dark of It

The Light & Dark of It

It’s a new week. And I’m still here.

  • Yesterday morning I missed a crucial left turn driving to work, so I had to drive about 10 minutes out of my way to turn around. I’ve never missed that turn.
  • My eyes have been sort of twitching on and off for over a week now. At first I thought it was something with my contacts, but then I stopped wearing my contacts…
  • I’ve been going to bed about an hour later and waking up about 30-45 minutes earlier every day for the past couple of weeks.
  • Lately, I feel perpetually behind on tasks and over-booked for activities. Nothing feels easy.
  • I forgot my office keys at home today too. I’ve never forgotten my office keys.

It’s a new week. And I want to be here.

  • Despite feeling exhausted, I’ve been setting time aside each day to draw, read, or work on a project I enjoy.
  • I’ve also been making time to just sit and watch something that makes me laugh, like Tiffany Haddish telling a story, or 30 Rock episodes on Netflix.
  • I’ve also been making time daily for 10 minutes of mindful meditation. Overall, this is beneficial, but specifically it helps me check-in with my brain & make sure I’m not telling myself too many negative stories.
  • Yoga with Adriene – 7 minute stress relief, remains essential to my weeks.
  • I decided to start therapy again to work on myself more. I realized last week that I have told three people this month about how much therapy has helped me manage my anxiety, so I’m going to take my own advice, and reach out for another source of help. We’re not alone.

Work in Progress

I’ve started bullet journaling and it’s really helping me prioritize my daily tasks so I’m more productive. I too often find myself sticking things I need to get done or want to accomplish on arbitrary lists, or in tracking apps that may or may not get much attention. Now I’ve been writing out plans daily, and doing the work of prioritizing. This was on my list today: “BLOG POST – SOMETHING.” As soon as I hit “Publish” I get to experience the great satisfaction of checking off that task in my journal. Happy New Year!

img_20170107_104121I tend to question almost everything… quite a lot sometimes, which is why it’s hard for me to post consistently on a blog. I can usually talk myself out of it. Lately, I’ve been thinking of posting and then getting stuck because half of me really wants to write about a movie I liked or a recipe I tried, but then the other half of me is frozen in after-election despair wondering, “Is there anything I can share that won’t feel inappropriately lackluster?” Not a helpful thought, I know. I’ve dealt with anxiety before, but never this constant or concrete. It’s a struggle. But the attitude that we should give up on sharing the stuff of everyday life because there’s work to be done is not helpful. Sharing is part of the work… Publish!