Resolutions can be a trap. If we don’t fulfill them, we have failed. There’s pressure and, often, also the unrealistic expectations of someone else’s Instagram feed. So, no thanks. I do think setting goals is a good thing but as far as stepping into 2019, I decided to try something new with my goals– “anti-resolutions” maybe. Some things I’m trying to do less of:
- Being impressed by how young a famous person looks. It’s probably a big part of their life and career to keep up those looks. And they probably spend a lot of money on it too. Should we be applauding all that pressure (especially on women) and fixation on youth? Probably not.
- Judging myself for not reading as many books as I want to read. Starting and stopping a book you’re not that into is fine. Only having a short time to read is fine. Just keep reading.
- Not speaking up in the moment. Being afraid of being judged or making people uncomfortable is human, but calling people on their bullshit is what preserves humanity. This is a muscle I need to exercise.
- Feeling obligated to do anything ever. This has never served me well and it’s astonishing how much of life can be dictated by this feeling. I must refuse to give up my power of choice when I have it.
- Placing any value on being thinner or weighing less. This one is hard because (huge societal issue aside) I can’t remember ever not being aware of my size in comparison to others, in photos, while clothes shopping, or when talking with other women about diet/exercise. The goal should be educating myself on my own health, feeling as healthy as I can day-to-day, and accepting that will change.
- Getting distracted online super easily. It took me way too long to finish this post.
- Not sharing my writing because it’s not prefect.
Photo Credit: Winniepix on Flickr
As a 35-year-old woman, these are the categories of clothing I am asked to choose from:
- You can wear this to your office job, but it might be weird to wear this in any other scenario.
- Do you want to feel comfortable more than you want to look like you spent three hours getting ready? Oh, you do? Skip these outfits.
- “Individual style” & “personality” are overrated. We know what you need: Beige.
- Everything here is made from the finest scratchy, translucent, non-breathable fabrics science could create.
- You aren’t old yet! Let these odd shapes, clingy fabrics, and confusing patterns remind you every day.
- You aren’t young anymore! Let these odd shapes, billowy fabrics, and confusing patterns remind you every day.
- These are the hottest trends. You might feel weird about showing off that one section of your shoulder, but you’ll look so cool!
- Remember, you don’t want to look too young. But you also don’t want to look too old. You want your coworkers & friends to compliment your outfits, but you don’t want to seem like you care a lot about your looks. You want to put effort into your style, but no one should be able to tell. But also who cares? You do you! …as long as it can’t offend anyone else or draw too much attention. It’s easy!
Photo credit: Who to Wear on Pinterest
- Tried a gluten-free breakfast sandwich because they were out of everything else. It… wasn’t the best.
- Tried to take Austin Kleon‘s very good advice about staying informed without burning yourself out on news before your day begins – You can be woke without waking up to the news. I lasted 20 minutes. Which is something. I’ll try again tomorrow!
- Saw two dogs on campus that looked like the big and little versions of each other. (I couldn’t snap a photo because they were playing too much.)
Hm, what else? Oh yeah…
- Woke up to millions of Americans still having their healthcare. Woo!
I don’t suddenly feel less anxious about the overall state of the government, but today it seems a little easier to focus on the people who are doing good. Like ADAPT and the many women in our government who somehow find a way to keep fighting in the face of all this, like Patty Murray, Kamala Harris, & Maxine Waters.
And last night, Mazie Hirono showed enormous courage:
We have a long road ahead, but just being able to even mention a few positive, encouraging people and news headlines today feels really good.
It’s a new week. And I’m still here.
- Yesterday morning I missed a crucial left turn driving to work, so I had to drive about 10 minutes out of my way to turn around. I’ve never missed that turn.
- My eyes have been sort of twitching on and off for over a week now. At first I thought it was something with my contacts, but then I stopped wearing my contacts…
- I’ve been going to bed about an hour later and waking up about 30-45 minutes earlier every day for the past couple of weeks.
- Lately, I feel perpetually behind on tasks and over-booked for activities. Nothing feels easy.
- I forgot my office keys at home today too. I’ve never forgotten my office keys.
It’s a new week. And I want to be here.
- Despite feeling exhausted, I’ve been setting time aside each day to draw, read, or work on a project I enjoy.
- I’ve also been making time to just sit and watch something that makes me laugh, like Tiffany Haddish telling a story, or 30 Rock episodes on Netflix.
- I’ve also been making time daily for 10 minutes of mindful meditation. Overall, this is beneficial, but specifically it helps me check-in with my brain & make sure I’m not telling myself too many negative stories.
- Yoga with Adriene – 7 minute stress relief, remains essential to my weeks.
- I decided to start therapy again to work on myself more. I realized last week that I have told three people this month about how much therapy has helped me manage my anxiety, so I’m going to take my own advice, and reach out for another source of help. We’re not alone.