Author: Kim Jones

New Year, New Ewe

New Year, New Ewe

Resolutions can be a trap. If we don’t fulfill them, we have failed. There’s pressure and, often, also the unrealistic expectations of someone else’s Instagram feed. So, no thanks. I do think setting goals is a good thing but as far as stepping into 2019, I decided to try something new with my goals– “anti-resolutions” maybe. Some things I’m trying to do less of:

  • Being impressed by how young a famous person looks. It’s probably a big part of their life and career to keep up those looks. And they probably spend a lot of money on it too. Should we be applauding all that pressure (especially on women) and fixation on youth? Probably not.
  • Judging myself for not reading as many books as I want to read. Starting and stopping a book you’re not that into is fine. Only having a short time to read is fine. Just keep reading.
  • Not speaking up in the moment. Being afraid of being judged or making people uncomfortable is human, but calling people on their bullshit is what preserves humanity. This is a muscle I need to exercise.
  • Feeling obligated to do anything ever. This has never served me well and it’s astonishing how much of life can be dictated by this feeling. I must refuse to give up my power of choice when I have it.
  • Placing any value on being thinner or weighing less. This one is hard because (huge societal issue aside) I can’t remember ever not being aware of my size in comparison to others, in photos, while clothes shopping, or when talking with other women about diet/exercise. The goal should be educating myself on my own health, feeling as healthy as I can day-to-day, and accepting that will change.
  • Getting distracted online super easily. It took me way too long to finish this post.
  • Not sharing my writing because it’s not prefect.

Photo Credit: Winniepix on Flickr

Memoirs Over Men-moirs

Memoirs Over Men-moirs

My favorite stories are the ones people tell about themselves– their struggles, their joy, that one brief time they were in a sorority or met the president or found out their show was cancelled (Hi, Mindy Kaling), what makes them unique, their past, present, future: Memoirs. The past few years I’ve gotten really into listening to memoirs on Audible. Hearing someone tell me their story as I walk or drive around town feels like having them there with me. It’s a great way to remember people who have died, learn more about the people behind things you enjoy, or to explore lives unlike your own.

I definitely have opinions about what makes a good memoir. The key ingredient is vulnerability. Memoirs lacking reflection or emotional risk are, frankly, a little boring. But authors that don’t apologize for their choices, admit failures, poke fun at themselves, explore feelings– their stories can leave you changed.

Check out some of the memoirs I have really enjoyed:

Most recently, I finished Gene Wilder’s memoir, Kiss Me Like a Stranger. I was drawn to it because I always found his performances interesting, but didn’t know much about him. (And honestly, I really like his voice.) Listening to it, I was reminded of Bryan Cranston’s A Life in Parts & Jeffrey Tambor’s Are You Anybody? The way all of these men talk about women is very similar. (Spoiler alert: It’s not great.)

Jess from New Girls says,

They all comment on women’s bodies throughout, often introducing women in terms of their physical looks. Women are described as either extraordinary people to be revered (like their wives), or deeply flawed, broken individuals they tried to save or help in some way. And they all mention the pain of women in their lives (emotional or physical) in such a casual way, it really stood out to me.

The women in these men-moirs (if you will) are objectified in the literal sense. They are just parts of a man’s story and have no agency of their own. Their truth is secondary to how they fit into the lives of men. It’s striking, and sadly indicative of the deep roots of misogyny in our culture.

But! As Oprah said this year, a new day is on the horizon 🙂 ☀. There are so many other wonderful stories to explore, and many more to look forward to.

Uncertain Times

Uncertain Times

Last week, a few unexpected things popped up that felt urgent and important (as things do) and sort of derailed an otherwise steady week. Things I originally had planned for the week:

  • Clothes shopping (again) because I really need to get some clothing that fits (see last year’s weight gain) and also I clean out my closet for donations like every other month but oops, forgot to get new stuff.
  • Do a big spring clean of the house.
  • Look into a list of fun things to do while family is visiting.
  • Order some small rugs for around the house.
  • Grocery store run + meal prep.
  • Set up some new pages in my Bullet Journal.
  • Stop avoiding shopping, obviously.

Of those things, I accomplished 0 items.

It happens. Or, doesn’t happen, as it were. I woke up toward the end of the week feeling very behind and out of sorts and wondering if I was capable of life at all, and then came across a Yoga with Adriene video that I felt was pretty timely:

Trying to stick with yoga (mostly) every day this year has really been like waking up to a supportive friend (who is also a stranger in a video) when I need it most. That (plus coffee) always gets me back on my feet. Onward we go…

Header photo from my desk. Art by Marc Johns.

Hey! It’s Episode 013

Hey! It’s Episode 013

A new episode of Hey, Bestie! is live!

Listen on Apple Podcasts or your favorite app.

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A Friday List #3

A Friday List #3

  • I’ve been doing yoga every morning, every day, since the new year started. (Full disclosure: I started my streak on December 31st, and have missed 4 days off, but that’s not bad!) Yoga with Adriene does a 30-day series at the start of each new year for anyone at any level, so that really helped me get going. By sticking with at least 20 minutes of daily yoga, I’ve noticed BIG improvements in my range-of-motion and all around fitness. It’s been harder to stick to this week, since I was busier than usual.
  • “Busy” is a word that can mean a lot of things. Sometimes it means that you aren’t prioritizing properly, or that you are feeling anxious even though there’s not much going on, or that there are suddenly a lot of things on your plate that you didn’t plan for. Somehow I managed to be all three this week.
  • I’m very much a “Yay, it’s Friday!” person today, as evident by a graphic from my Instagram stories today:

Graphic from Instagram reads

  • I’ve been re-reading Mindy Kaling’s first book, as I tend to do at least once a year. She’s honest, funny, unapologetic about what she likes, and just generally very great. (Plus, she predicted Ghostbusters 2017 AND that there would be an all-ladies Ocean’s movie, which she is NOW STARRING IN. I’m very impressed.)

Have a great weekend!