My brain is not okay with tomorrow’s inauguration. All week it’s been buzzing and racing and running “omg, omg” on a loop. I’m usually pretty calm, collected, and organized. (At least outwardly.) But this week I left the gelato out and it melted, I forgot my umbrella when it rained, I cried in the car, I missed deadlines, I slept through my alarm. About once a day, I feel sort of numb and detached. Then my stomach hurts. That last part isn’t so new.
This sums up my 2017 so far pretty well:
Knowing I’m far from the only one feeling like this helps. In that way, Twitter helps. It also reminds me that the next four years hold very high stakes for America… so yes, take care of yourself and allow these hard days or weeks, but stay in the fight and keep moving ahead. It all feels very devastating right now. But also right now, Barack Obama is president of my country. He’s a really good person and his leadership was more than legislation or speeches. (Although a lot of that was really good too.) Knowing he’ll be among us as a citizen is something I think I can take comfort in tomorrow and the long days ahead.
I’ve started bullet journaling and it’s really helping me prioritize my daily tasks so I’m more productive. I needed the help. I too often find myself sticking things I need to get done or want to accomplish in the future on arbitrary lists in tracking apps that may or may not get much attention. Now I’ve been writing out plans daily, and doing the work of reminding & prioritizing myself. This was on my list today: BLOG POST – SOMETHING. As soon as I hit “Publish” I get to experience the (surprisingly strong) satisfaction of checking off that task in my journal. Happy New Year!
I tend to second guess my plans… quite a lot sometimes, which is why it’s hard for me to post consistently on this blog. I usually talk myself out of it. Lately, I’ve been thinking of posting and then getting stuck because half of me really wants to write about a movie I liked or a recipe I tried, but then the other half of me is frozen in after-election despair wondering, “Is there anything I can share that won’t feel inappropriately lackluster?” Not a helpful thought, I know. I’ve dealt with anxiety before but never this constant or concrete. It’s a struggle. But the attitude that we should give up on sharing the stuff of everyday life because there’s work to be done is not helpful. Sharing is part of the work… Publish!